When Affection is as Hate
Do you love really God and want to do whatever He asks of you! How about when it comes to child rearing and disciplining with the rod? The principle “Spare the rod; spoil the child” can clearly be seen in God’s word. Consider the following Proverbs from the Bible (I’ve included excerpts from commentaries):
Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him(Prov. 13:24).
(He)Who withholds or withdraws his rod of correction…may be said to hate him; for such fond love is no better than hatred (Gill).
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him (Prov. 22:15).
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die (Prov. 23:13).
to spare (the rod) is the ruin of the child, and (is) no proof of true affection in the parent, but the reverse (Gill).
If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol (Prov. 23:14).
i. e., “You will not kill your son by scourging him, you may kill him by withholding the scourge.” (Barnes).
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother (Prov. 29:15).
The condition of one who has been pampered and indulged. The mother who yields weakly is as guilty of abandoning the child she spoils, as if she cast him forth; and for her evil neglect, there shall fall upon her the righteous punishment of shame and ignominy (Barnes).
You Don’t Love God or Your Child
We say that we love God and will do whatever He asks of us! Yet, excuses for our children, modern psychology, social protocol, fear and false love keep many Christians from administering God’s loving and timely correction with the rod. By ignoring this God-given principle they are violating God who they claim to love as well as robbing their children of God’s love.
Do YOU Take God For A Fool?
Do we take God for a fool for including this way of disciplining in His word? Don’t you think that He would have come up with something better if He felt something better would help? We have come up with all sorts of ways to discipline our children and while many of these have their place they don’t replace those certain occasions when, according to God, the rod will help best.
Are You Adult Enough to do it Responsibly?
God would not have entrusted adult parents with the unpleasant task of having to occasionally spank our children on their bottoms with a stick if He didn’t think that we could do it responsibly. Because of inappropriate use of the rod by some, many want it outlawed or have already had it outlawed. Using this manner of thinking, our cars should be taken away from us because of all the bad drivers and the accidents that they have caused.
Corporal Punishment – An Act of Love
Don’t make corporal punishment the solution for every error. It should only be used for particular willful rebelliousness to your clear boundaries. Have a selection of appropriate punishments in mind so that you don’t resort to corporal punishment simply because you ran out of ideas. Plenty other punishments can be more suitable on many occasions.
When necessary, the appropriate spanking to administer depends on the age of your child, the nature of your child and the incident itself. Small children and even some bigger children only need the threat of a spanking to bring about the right response. However, see to it that you do follow through if this doesn’t work. Also, with little children the spanking sometimes doesn’t need to bring any pain to be effective. The idea is often enough.
Give clear reasons and correction with the punishment. Don’t ever hit out of anger or frustration or in the heat of the moment. When possible, draw away from the incident for a short while to give yourself a chance to prayerfully consider your actions.
Corporal punishment is to be done in love! Do it carefully with God!